...and all things Greek

Still on my October hols and getting back into this blog!  Over the last few months, John has been running the PBM game I wrote set in ancient Greece. At first admittedly I was a bit precious about it - cos I wanted to run it! - but he's turned out to be putting on a rather good show. Obviously, I've seen this play out three times before from the GM's perspective. I knew which cities were lemons and which ones held the best potential for nationwide domination. I plumped for Athens - one of the lemons - as I've never seen it prosper, even though historically of course it was the powerhouse of Greece for over a century.

Five months into the game, things have been going well. I'd aimed to conquer the cities of the Isthmus and into the Argolid, along with grabbing a few nearby islands, to give me a 'circle' of territory in central Greece. I was expecting a threat early on from the north by Thebes, but an expedient alliance has kept the northern border safe as the Thebans looked west instead. In the south I've bagged Eleusis, Megara, Corinth after a protracted to and fro war, and now Epidaurus. My fleet bagged Keos as an island outpost to mark my seas before the islands jumped in, and I've allied with Salamis, Argos and Mycenae. Just Troezen and Aegina to bag and my original goal will be complete, hopefully on or around turn 15.

How things stand after turn 10. The 'circle' is almost complete...

When he began the game, John made it clear that he would provide little 'fluff', expecting it to come from us. To be fair, when I ran the game the fluff was by far the most time consuming part (other than actually waiting for some players to submit their turns!), so thats an acceptable sacrifice to keep the turnover from losing momentum. Other than the schemes and the various wrangling and deals between players on club nights - which invariably completely change on a turn by turn basis - the best part of the game so far has been writing our fluff. Mostly this is in the form of diplomatic messages to other powers, of which there have been an awful lot passing to and fro. Sometimes though, we get the chance to write something for the GM to try and persuade him round to our own point of view. This is one I sent off on a recent turn after a neutral city crossed me:

MESSAGE TO LIMERA: “Fucking whoresons! Who are you to deny the will of Athens? Fucking pigs! Cunts! You are not men, you are rodents clad in the mantles of the lowest of men! The will of the Demos has turned its eye on you like a lion regarding a fucking vole crawling in the dirt by its paw. They call for your blood, they want your city desolated! Scourged! The Demos clamour for Athenian armies to claw down your measly walls and let our Thracian mercenaries run wild through your city! Your men will be hacked down in the streets, their innards torn out, their spirits fleeing to Hades with the taste of Thracian piss in their mouths! Your children will be strangled to a babe, their brains dashed out against the walls, their screeching cries the music to accompany your city’s ugly demise. Your women?! The whores of Limera shall dine on a fucking banquet of Thracian cock! Every hole will be stuffed, pounded until it bleeds, engorged on a feast of blood, piss, shit and cum! We shall fuck them while they wail for us to stop, and fuck em again until they’re begging us for more! Fucking limp-dicked Limeran cuckolds! For a generation your city will be remembered only for its fabled fucking whores and their love of a barbarian’s cock! And you will cling to it, cling to the memory like a child with its fucking comfort blanket because even though this ill-renown will burn you every day with the shame of it, for those token few survivors it will be all that remains of your city, of the fucking shithole that you call home!

But there are voices, a handful of voices. All but drowned out by the colossal rage of the Demos, but they placate – they offer reason. They may be few, but they are powerful, respected. If listened to, they may sway the will of the Demos and through their mercy offer a way out for Limera and its people. Even so, you struck against Athens, interfered with the business of the Empire. There must be a price for that. How high that price is lies in your hands. Your Spartan friends are on their knees; even if the Gods deem that they shall live, they are stretched so thin there shall be no help from them. You are alone, like a lamb on the altar waiting for the cut of the knife to end it all. If you think to stand before us, to deny the will of the Demos and the Empire, it will not go well for you. As instrument of instruction, you need only look to Corinth and Epidaurus. They resisted, in their own foolish ways. Both cities thought to have won their freedom. By the will of the Gods alone, Athens’ army was turned aside, thrown back in battle. But, like the passage of the sun itself, the army of Athens came back, again and again. By a trick of fate you may score a victory in battle, but you cannot hope to win the war. Do not think either that some chance of war with another Empire will distract us. The war with Epidaurus continued even through our war with Sparta and its infamous act of betrayal. Stand against us, and our armies shall batter against your walls until they come tumbling down like leaves in the autumn wind; then the Demos and our Thracian mercenaries will take their price!

There are other options open to you. The wise fathers of the Demos offer you this: you can surrender now, spare your citizens the scourging and submit to Athenian rule. Open your gates to our army, which will occupy the city and welcome you as friends. Limera will become a prosperous and noted arm of the Athenian Empire – your men shall take a hand in the building of Hellas’ finest Empire, and shall have a say in the fate of thousands. There will be no destruction, no rape, no killing. You need only disband your army and hand over liberty and rule of your city to Athens. Limera will live on in prosperity and vigour. Your fighting men will be re-enlisted in the ranks of the Empire’s army and become the sword of democracy! If this is not to your taste, then you may instead retain your liberty and self rule and serve us as a tributary. There is however a cost for this luxury. Limera will immediately bind itself in alliance to Athens as your master city. You will provide Athens with the use of 2000 disciplined men each year, and pay us the sum of 8 talents a year in tribute. You shall never trade or ally with an enemy of Athens, but otherwise we will allow to operate under normal diplomatic terms. Athens may also station any number of men or ships in your city at any time.

Your city is a proud one; that much we have seen through your bold though misguided actions on the battlefield. These terms will come as a shock to you, but there is little time for you to dwell on them. You have until the end of summer to decide. If for one moment you think that the price is too high, look to your wife, or daughter, and think of those beautiful, beloved lips stretched wide around the root of a stinking, crab-ridden Thracian cock.

Good day to you,

Athens

Quite clearly, things did not work out well for Limera...

I had good fun writing that! Since the last post on this game, I masterminded a scheme to collapse Tam's Buthrotan Empire. Robert's Macedonians, Angus' Olynthians, James' Spartans, Paul's Kephellenians and my Athenians would hit all of the Buthrotan cities as one and strangle him out. it was all beautifully co-ordinated to go off on turn 8. In the event of it, word got out and Tam found out through Paul, setting him to some intrigue of his own. The Spartans, whom I was to rendezvous with before the attack turned on me by surprise, crushing my army before bizarrely just turning about and marching off home, stating 'no one tells Sparta what to do'. The GM told us Robert's Macs hadn't gone in, Paul betrayed us as did Sparta, so that left Angus' army going in alone. Angus and I made a deal with Tam to call it all off, with Tam giving me Amphissa in exchange for a yearly tithe and a promise to call it all off. With my back to the wall with the Spartans, I was more than willing! Angus and I both declared peace, though unfortunately it turned out Robert's macs had in fact carried out their part of the plan and invaded too. Inadvertently we'd left him high and dry, and the Buthrotans rallied their armies to give him a resounding beating. I regretted that, but Sparta was the more pressing matter for me now.

A nice poached image of a Spartan hoplite. I've also been doing a bit more work on the edited version of the Game Rules through Publisher. So far, I'm about half way through chapter 7: Projects.

I've spent the last three turns crushing Sparta for their betrayal, using good old fashioned seabourne raids and assaults, along with help from Martin's Eleans in the west. Sparta should fall soon and then Martin and I will hoover up the remaining neutrals in the Peloponnese between us. Plenty going on elsewhere though; the islands are hotting up, with Eretria, Kephellenia, Paros and the new Cycladic League all trading victories over each other as they vie to conquer new islands. I think Athens will stay clear of that lot for the long term! In the north, Macedon and Olynthus have a difficult relationship. Both empires have expanded about as far as they can get without either fighting each other or picking another empire to sack. Tam's Buthrotans are looking strong, although Gary's Lamians are a bit of unknown quantity. All of them have no where to go except into each other. There will be a war there soon which will suck the lot of them in. Probably see one or perhaps two of them washed away by turn 15 or so. As for me, after Sparta's gone and the neutrals have been bagged, I've still to decide what to do next. I should have bagged the cities I wanted within the next three turns, the Gods willing I'll be well placed to make a move.

Of the other players, so far I think Angus is the most powerful. He's playing the game really well - maximizing his cities' natural resources and working the diplomacy like a master. Tam's learned from his narrowly averted gangbang and turned Buthrotum into a bit of a rock. I don't see the islanders influencing much on the mainland for a loooong time yet, and it'll be a while before a clear winner emerges from the pack. John in Thebes and Gary in Lamia are playing a quiet game, and I'd say both of them need to act soon to avoid being left behind and eventually overwhelmed by a more powerful empire looking for land. They need to publicly get on board with another big empire and get stuck into the killing. After a disastrous start, Martin is looking very handy with his Eleans, though he does seem dogged with excremental luck! Fighting the war against Sparta has shown me the best way to campaign in this issue of the game. Two empires on one, every time. The big planned attack on Buthrotum failed because there were too many elements and too many people involved. If successful, it would have crushed him in only two turns, but it was too complicated. Martin and I on James has proven unassailable. The Spartans may scrape the odd win at a single city, but they cant cope with an all out empire wide attack. It may have taken three or four turns, but together Elis and Athens have proven pretty deadly. The very best thing about this run of the game however is that quite clearly no one is to be trusted! Perhaps I should be keeping one watchful eye on those Eleans!

The Eleans get robbed at Mantineia!

I've been immersing myself in the ancient Greek milieu lately. Last month, I did a Spartan race with my brother and a mate! I'm not one for sporty things, but last Christmas I made a comment to Roger that I was getting fat and he suggested that we do this 'Spartan Race'. It was only 5k, so doable for a beginner like me. I joined the gym and got training about 6 weeks before it, getting my weight and my times down as the weeks went by. The race itself was great fun! 26 obstacles across a cross country course. I made them all except the spear throw (gutted!) and the running was by far and away the hardest part. Mashing a treadmill is by no means preparation for real running in the great outdoors! It was raining sideways the whole time, but it was a great day!

Looking good. Jamie feels the heat.

Like a boss!

What is this for, then? Is this a spear?

Roger considers the spear....

Been a long time since I won a medal for anything...

Who let the Spartan have the microphone?

Other than running about and PBM gaming, I've read three ancient Greek 'historical' fiction pieces on the bounce. Poseidon's Spear by Christian Cameron is set around a Plataean survivor from Marathon and his scheme to run tin ore from Britain back to the Med for a phat profit. Cameron's attention to detail is almost immersive, and I loved this book! Reading this you really get the feeling that the world was just there for the Greeks to grab. Absolutely brilliant. I followed that by finishing off David Gemmell's Lion of Macedon (for the fifth time!) and I'm now on the sequel, 'Dark Prince'.